Portland, OR

swear 2 god, magnolia season this spring was the only thing keeping my head, precariously tied to my head with a shitty piece of ribbon, tethered to planet earth. #blossomwatch 4ever

It turns out that if you cup your hand around a phone’s speaker and hold it between two school counselors in the pouring rain on the side of the road, you can still sort of hear okay. We were mid-walk but wanted the teacher’s union hybrid learning negotiations update. It was late March. I was standing with my friend underneath a tree on Woodstock. The downpour had completely soaked through my stupid jacket. The rain on my jeans was starting to warm to my body temperature, giving me the unsettling feeling of having peed my pants. …


Portland, Oregon

life’s rather tough. um. please enjoy this painting of some goldfish

As a teenager, I was drawn to politics, I think, because of the way things felt so large: cycles of struggle, virtues and ideals on the line, defeat or victory, and repeat. For a kid with anxious, over-analytical energy seeking to explain why things felt unfair to my friends or my family, it was almost addictive to follow the rise and fall of political campaigns. That repetitive, emotional crescendo while material realities remain stagnant or even suffocating is what makes politics exhausting to follow for those whose lives are most impacted by being overlooked or negatively targeted. …


back in like 2017, i had this as one of my tinder pics. no one ever commented on how apt it was, so needless to say, i did not find love. do you feel how apt it is now??

God, can you believe?

It’s so unbelievably boring to talk about how this has been a rough year. But, uh. Do you still find yourself laughing sadly at even the most lowbrow 2020 jokes?

Believe the lifelong organizers when they say that this much pain occurs when we crack something poisonous wide open. I laughed out loud when I first read this sneering appellation of this summer’s #BLM uprisings: the Great White Awakening. Good morning, bitches!!!! It’s okay to be embarrassed that it took so long. It’s embarrassing. More embarrassment comes as we watch enthusiasm for revolution wax and wane…


Some ideas for talking to young people about racist violence and #blacklivesmatter

Note: I’m a light-skinned, mixed-race, queer school counselor. I am not Black, which means: 1) It’s my obligation to share labor and resources, and 2) I expect to get some things wrong. If you have helpful additions or corrections, I welcome them and thank you in advance for your time and effort. DM or email me. I am also willing to work alongside you if you have further questions about how to engage with kids about this.

The language we use to broach conversations with young people is…


Originally published grassroots-style as a Gdoc on my social media, sorry for the late post on this platform!

Ok, some feelings first

Unnatural death looms pretty close, doesn’t it? For some of us, even just reading the words “unnatural death” at the top of this paragraph conjures something familiar. Unnatural death is that heavy sigh we exhale when we think about how poverty makes us die quicker, how addiction makes us die quicker, how incarceration makes us die quicker. Though we were in no danger of forgetting, COVID-19 reminds us like a snide bully that we have no safety net, that when the social…


please enjoy this great picture of my dog. you can support his healthcare fund if you’re really into dogs, really mad about the cost of healthcare, or both.

I know some people think this is a small election. Less important than a ballot stuffed with statewide measures or presidential candidates. Oh, school board members and water districts and such. And so many running unopposed. I have heard the dismissive chatter in the supermarket line.

But, y’know, if the swirling entropic vortex of our political sphere can teach us anything, it’s how miserable it is for vulnerable people to have bad…


Ryn doesn’t miss a beat when I tell her that my notebook is missing. “I’m so sorry,” she says evenly. And then, voice lowered conspiratorially, “It’ll appear in four months. Just watch.”

I have searched for the notebook every few days since early August.

For weeks before my trip, even after I bought my plane ticket, my mother did not believe I was going. When she grasped my departure as something solid, she asked for a small book into which she could distill herself.

I procured a pocket-sized black notebook and she filled it with messy hangul, names of her…


midterm season: this is where we’re at, y’all

Think about being powerless. You’ve experienced it before. Think. Maybe it was a small powerlessness, a choice removed from you about something you cared about. A work decision out of your hands. A breakup you weren’t ready for. Someone misunderstanding you and defaming you. Silently you railed against it, feeling that unmistakable hot-necked frustration — the thing that causes children to have tantrums in the middle of the supermarket. It’s unfair, you want to wail. What can I do?

Maybe it was a large powerlessness. Maybe you’re feeling it right now, even. Of all the zillions of bummers, I’ve been…


here’s an inspirational photo of some cypress trees i saw at the oregon coast that i was v. into

Okay. You’ve made it through 2017. I hope you are reading this somewhere safe and warm. It was a hard year, right? But the first of January carried a glorious supermoon on its shoulders and its glow heralds high holy Capricorn season. It’s time to get to fuckin’ work.

I love you. I believe in you. I know we didn’t all make it through last year, and we mourn those we lost to death, deportation, the prison industrial complex, hate crimes, gun violence, climate change-related devastation, and more — we lament and honor suffering large and small, life-threatening and life-exhausting…


or,
It’s going to be a hot day
or,
An American girl spends the summer after Trump’s election in France and has a bunch of bullshit feelings about it

Tourrettes s/ Loup

In the south of France, the trill of cicadas sounds almost mechanical, as if we are made privy to the hyper-amplified sound of electrical currents — pulses so perfectly even that they seem impossible, inorganic. Zzzzt. Zzzzt. Zzzzt.

It’s humid. I am covered with a damp film, as if I’m always ten minutes out from a swim. My hair curls impudently in the heat. I pull my skirt down, feeling a…

Marissa Yang Bertucci

undefeated in scrabble since 1999 | insta @marissayangbertucci

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